Join the (Birthday) Club

By Chandra Turner

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Admit it. When you look on the calendar and see that your friend's birthday is a week away, don't you feel a bit stressed? You know you have to do something -- and buy something -- but what? You also know that when your birthday rolls around, your friends are thinking the same thing. The solution? Make a birthday pact, pool your money and celebrate once a year with something grand together.

That's exactly what Betsy Stephens, 38, and her two closest girlfriends did. They took themselves out for a big birthday dinner at a Michelin-rated restaurant in New York City -- something they never would have splurged on. “For years, we used to buy each other expensive gifts and go out to dinner,” she says. “But then we started to have kids. So we were buying gifts for the kids' birthdays, our own birthdays plus going out to dinner. It was too much money and too much to worry about.”

Here are some other group birthday ideas that will save time and money -- and create lasting memories.

The Foodie Birthday If you’ve already been to every restaurant in town, create a new food experience: Hire a personal chef /cooking instructor to cook in one of your homes. “The classes can be hands-on or Food Network style -- you watch the chef cook and taste the results,” says Suzanne Moore, a personal chef and teacher in Cedarburg, Wis. A cheaper alternative: host your own cooking party, says Jennifer M. Jackson, an events planner in Carson, Calif. Select a cuisine and then split up the courses and the ingredients list. Pop open a bottle of wine and gab while you mix, sauté and bake.

The Thrill-Seeker’s Birthday Are your friends wild and crazy girls? Do something daring like skydiving. The United States Parachute Association has “drop zones” in locations across the country. Or take a belly dancing class. “Belly dancing gets stereotyped as a dance of seduction, but its most traditional form is social dancing done by women, among women,” says Nadrina Jamal, an instructor in Somerville, Mass. You can even hire an instructor to come to your home and give a private lesson to your group of friends.

The Girly-Girl Birthday A spa day with friends is always a hit. Many spas cater to girlfriend groups, and will create unique experiences, like getting your nails done while sipping cocktails. Traditional spa options range from decadent to down to earth. Find a spa near you in Spa Finder’s enormous database.

The Get-Out of Town Birthday Going away with the girls doesn’t have to be outrageously expensive. An accessible and affordable idea: a wine-tasting retreat. Every state in the U.S. produces wine and has tasting rooms, says Sylke Neal-Finnegan who offers trips in Washington County, Ore. Many wineries offer van, bus or limo service to escort you from winery to winery. Tasting fees range from complimentary to $20. Or book a night or two at a local hotel and play tourist in your own neck of the woods. Some hotels even have special birthday packages that can accommodate groups.

The Best Things in Life Are Free Birthday In this economy you and your friends may be cutting back on any non-essential spending. So save your money and give your time. Volunteering as a group is a great way to bond, and a special thing to do together. Grab your girls and your hammers and help build houses with Habitat for Humanity. Or volunteer as a group at your local food bank or local nursing home. You can chat with older women about their lives and their friendships, past and present. It’ll make you even more grateful for the girlfriends you have now. And that’s something to celebrate. 

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