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A Little Romance Goes a Long Way

By Aviva Patz

Say the word “romance,” and you probably envision clinking champagne glasses, little black velvet boxes and weekends for two in Paris. But grand and costly gestures don’t mean nearly as much as the simple, everyday ways you can show your partner affection. “Love is more than just a feeling inside,” says Joyce Catlett, co-author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (American Psychological Association 2008). “You have to put actions behind those feelings, little acts that touch your partner’s heart and let him know, without words, that you love him.”

Keep the spark alive with these easy and inexpensive yet thoughtful moves. Aim to do one a day -- and you can put Paris on hold.

Stash love notes Tack a Post-it note with a sweet message on a briefcase, on the bathroom mirror, on the dashboard or even in a coat pocket, to bring a smile to your partner’s face. “Thinking of you” is all you have to say, but wax poetic if inspiration strikes.

Check in often Keep the lines of communication open throughout the day, even if you’ve got no news. Send e-mails, text messages, even cell phone photos showing a stunning sunset, rush-hour gridlock, or your desk splattered with the coffee you just spilled. It’s sharing the little things that keeps couples close.

Break out the china All you need for a romantic candlelight dinner is…candles. Feed the kids first, then drape a fancy tablecloth over the kitchen table. Pull out the china, stemware and candlesticks. It doesn’t matter if you’re cooking his favorite dish or ordering in pizza; the surprise setting will make it special.

Tune in to his state of mind You don’t have to be a mind reader to pick up on your partner’s mood -- you just have to tune in to it. Acknowledge his state of mind (“You seem anxious…”) and ask him about it (“Is everything okay?”). He’ll know you really care.

Ease his load Surprise your partner by picking up the dry cleaning, taking out the recycling or doing another chore that usually falls to him. It may not seem romantic to unload the dishwasher or get the car washed, but it shows that you care.

Really listen We’re all guilty of watching TV, reading the newspaper or chatting away on the phone during the few hours we have with our partner during the week. For a change, give a conversation your undivided attention.

Be touchy feely Physical contact is a building block of intimacy. Link arms while you’re walking, rest your head on his shoulder or give a quick squeeze as you go by. Casual tender moments help you rediscover your chemistry.

Get passionate about his passion Join your partner in an activity he loves. Nothing shows your romantic interest more than a willingness to engage in your partner’s other love, whether it’s karaoke, cooking or poker.

Say thank you It doesn’t matter if you show it or tell it -- as long as you find ways to let your partner know you appreciate him every day.

Kiss him Give him not just a peck on the cheek, but a real smooch for a good five seconds, whenever you say hello and goodbye, good morning and good night. Romantic lip-locks are a delicious reminder that you love him…and he loves you back.

Aviva Patz Aviva Patz has written for many national publications, such as Parents, Parenting, Health, Self, Redbook and Marie Claire.

Tell us what you think!

A little romance

Posted by shajahan sarkar on 4/4/09 at 3:09 AM

A little Romance goes a Long way

Hi, Getting Passionate about your Spouse's Passion may sometimes be difficult, especially when it comes to soccer. No one is willing to give up on the teams they support. That also applies to political parties being supported by each partner. Anyway, there is need to compromise in a relationship, but it is some thing to be learnt and learnt slowly.

Posted by Tabita Giye on 4/8/09 at 3:34 AM

Thank You

I love you guys.

Posted by Terry Taylor on 4/14/09 at 12:52 AM

My idea

I like hiding little post its on the bathroom mirror or in his closet, and he finds them unexpectedly. It always puts my husband in a better mood!!

Posted by Wendy White on 4/14/09 at 9:40 AM

My Tid-bits

I try to do for my husband the way I would want him to do for me. I send him flowers, e-cards, text messages etc. just to say "I love you" he really enjoys that. We must remember that your mate or loved one just may not know any different or how to show their love and appreciation- so if you feel something is lacking then take the responsibility and "show" them. Showing and giving love & appreciation doesn't always have to be shown with something that costs money- Freebies are the best. Words say a whole lot more than "items". Just my two cents :0)

Posted by mrs_mitchelljr on 4/17/09 at 8:12 AM

Need ideas in romancing with my husband

I'm dating online with this man.That"s going to be my future husband.What can I do to romance with him in the future after we get married?

Posted by Teri on 4/17/09 at 8:02 PM

I am in Love with a Man and he knows it and he does not give me the time of day!!!

Let me just say this guy is named Tony and I call him all the time and he only calls me back when he is thinking about all the good things that I have done for him. He says he's interested but do not show it. After we met I bought him a lot of gifts but he has yet to buy me even one. On special occasions he acknowledge me. He never comes by to see me either and I feel that he is just using me. I got divorced from my husband to be with this man because he said it would not be right to cheat on my husband and I agreed. Now my husband wants to get back with me but my heart is still yearning for Tony. I don't know what type of attraction I have for this guy but it is driving me insane. I think I have fallen in Love with him. Help me please to sort out my true feelings for this guy. I have often invited him out to dinner but he has never invited me. He is just toying with my affection for him. Do I tell him lets just be friends or try to still pursue a relationship with him.

Posted by Elizabeth Carter Joseph on 4/21/09 at 11:04 AM

Elizabeth Carter Joseph

Hi: Elizabeth_What you are going through is not just a simple cute and dry situation. Right now you are focused on a man and it sounds like you need to focus on yourself. 1st take a few minutes and only think of you. Wright down what it is that you want out of your life and relationship (mentally, spiritually, and physically). And not just for the moment but for the long run. Keep in mind that you are a very special person and keep your goals high. Do this and we will move on. take care.

Posted by Rosalyn Reeves on 4/22/09 at 12:39 PM

goes a long way

this goes to who ever want to read this poem

Posted by Lanetta Payne on 4/22/09 at 3:03 PM

romance

i want to learn sweet words for romancing.so that my girlfriend starts thinking about me.

Posted by osuna joseph on 4/24/09 at 2:24 PM

Blue eyes

We met 2 yrs ago, six months ago I decided to invite him out, and tell him my true feelings, and to my surprise he felt more for me, I let him know with caresses, kisses, and simple gestures that I love him, and two weekends ago him and I spent a romantic day with wine, the beach, and a room that I will not give details.

Posted by Maria on 4/24/09 at 2:36 PM

mushy stuff

my guy dont like mushy stuff so now what

Posted by jewels on 4/25/09 at 1:39 PM

not haveing respect

hello i have a friend i have so much respect for him he do not have any for me. i really care about him he say thing to hurt my feeling call me fat ass. he make love to me and put his hand all over my head that make me sick in side what you all think pat

Posted by pat on 4/28/09 at 10:31 PM

ideas for romance

love my husband like a boyfriend

Posted by inas on 4/30/09 at 5:24 PM

Mid Term

Thanks for the input, I was in need of good things to write about

Posted by K. Perdue on 4/30/09 at 7:25 PM

Hi there

i really enjoy reading what u have to say about romance. you have just added to what i already know. thank u for taking out the time and writing about romance. keep up the good work. when i do get married i will be able to do this for my husband.

Posted by Lashalle on 5/5/09 at 12:01 PM

pliz can you tell me some ways to make my loved one truelly loved me forever.

Posted by kingston on 5/31/09 at 3:23 AM

i have a boyfriend i love

hi my name is britney and i'm 27, and i 'm in love with my boyfriend Rhett, i give rhett romance tips on him what i do.

Posted by britney on 6/3/09 at 5:03 PM

affection

For over 2 years now, my wife has frustrated me until I want to pull my hair out. No matter what, she will not kiss, hug or cuddle. How can anyone not want to do these things? It isn't fair. We are only allowed to have one wife. If we had two or three the one that doesn't want the above could just work and go about her business while the other two wives love and do nice things to the husband. How can I get my wife to show affection?

Posted by Manuel A. Leyba on 6/19/09 at 2:38 AM

romance

Hi! I have been happily married to my husband for 4 years...but he shies away from romance. I long for it everday and do little things all the time just to let him know how much I love him. Our sex life is amazing but I can't help but think that if he would put one step forward in the romance department it would become more intense and way more intiment! Am I wrong? How can I help my husband realize that he can do little things and that I won't think they are stupid? His excuse is he is terrible at showing romance and doesn't want to let me down! Please help!!

Posted by Lisa on 6/27/09 at 11:03 PM

does sex matter

hi its good 2 know ur web just want 2 know if sex in a relationship matter mush 4 young couples 2 be (not yet married)i will like 2 be getting massages 4rm u guys u are great.bye

Posted by Gladys on 6/29/09 at 5:27 AM

romance

its good to communicate effectively and kiss deaply to keep love new every day.i love that.

Posted by eunice on 7/13/09 at 6:40 AM

Help

I've been dating the same lady for 6 months. My last relationship was for 25 years and she left me and my kids. I always feel like I'm missing something or doing something wrong. Maybe this feeling is left over from my last relationship. My new girlfriend and I are going to Las Vegas for four days and I wanted to line up romantic ideas to make her and I feel special. Thank You for any help Craig

Posted by Craig on 8/12/09 at 12:04 AM

this place

i like this web site i just started dating this girl and we have already started to fall in love with each other

Posted by taylor powell on 10/7/09 at 2:12 PM

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